Assertiveness and Bullying Prevention

In October I am focusing on the CARES trait of Assertion. During my classroom visits we'll be discussing that Assertion is the ability to speak up for ourselves in a way that is honest and respectful. I use a bullhorn in my toolbbox to remind us it is important to use a strong voice that ensures we are heard.

We've been discussing situations where assertion is needed and practicing different ways to use it:

• You can give an opinion or say how you feel.

• You can ask for what you want or need.

• You can disagree respectfully.

• You can offer your ideas and suggestions.

• You can say no without feeling guilty.

• You can speak up for someone else.

Assertion is not always easy (for kids OR adults).  Sometimes we fear being assertive because we might not get the easy result we hope for.  If we're afraid of hearing no, we might think being passive on the sidelines or just aggressively demanding what we want might be easier.  The more we model assertion ourselves and encourage assertive responses when children are faced with decision-making the easier it becomes.

Since October is Bullying Prevention Month, we'll also be tying our assertion skills to bullying prevention. The Olweus definition that we use in Albemarle county is that “Bullying is when someone says or does mean or hurtful things to someone else who has difficulty defending their self. It is repeated, intentional, and involves a power imbalance.” We spend time looking at the difference between a conflict and bullying. While both can be problems, the response may be very different. For one, a conflict involves both students engaging in problem solving; while bullying is about consequences and safety.

In the younger grades, we'll read the Band-Aid chicken about the one chicken that was brave enough to stand up and say that the pecking will stop with her. Some classes will hear about the Bully Blockers Club, and some will hear Bully B.E.A.N.S. or Juice Box Bully

– all stories about a group of children that come together to speak up for all students (because everything is easier when you work with friends). And older students will look at a series of books - Weird, Dare, and Tough. Each looks at a different perspective (the target, the one bullying, and the bystander). They will conclude with our peer nominations - an actual opportunity to speak up for someone that needs help (no matter which role they played).